Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Say What?!

For those of you out there that have had kids or are in the process of making one, here are some sure fire signs that you need a new OB doctor:

1. Going in to confirm your first pregnancy your doctor says: "Now, who's this guy you've been running around with?" Hmmm...let me husband of 4 years.

2. Going in with husband to confirm second pregnancy then for ultrasound, your doctor asks, "Is this the same guy you brought in last time?" Yes, he just got a hair cut.

3. During second pregnancy your doctor says to you after a 7 lb. weight gain in a month, "Well, are you enjoying it?" You know...I guess so...since I really enjoy being talked to like that after I have found out I gained 7 lbs. in a bet I sure will now!

4. Going in to confirm third pregnancy, you are informed that during a nurse change they somehow lost your Pap results from this year and you get to redo it. Well, my insurance only covers one of those tests a year and I am not paying for you for this one.

5. 2 weeks before your due date, your nurse tells you to take your bottoms off to be tested for Group B Strep. So, you sit there reading a book naked from the waist down for 15 minutes only to be asked "Why are your bottoms off?" Well, your nurse told me to take them off so you could test me. "We don't do this test for those who have C-sections." Well, okay. My bad...I just love sitting in a cold office with my pants off so the world can see my hiney when you open the door to greet me with such good bed side manor. (Actually, I kind of did enjoy a break from the heat!)

6. During all pregnancies, he feels the need to tell you how much you gain and give you the look like "you need to put the fork down sister."

7. During spinal block before second delivery, he tells the anestesiologist that this should be an easy one to numb because she is "so skinny!" I wanted to turn around and give him a piece of my skinny fist. He tells me the whole pregnancy that I am gaining too much and then I am skinny on D-day. What in the world is he on...seriously!

Thank goodness I only have one more visit with him until we deliver.


DeeDee said...

ok - and why haven't you changed doctors yet??? How about this, next time you go in and he does an exam (you know down there) how about you pee on him. That will show him. You can always blame the bladder issue on being prego!

Emily said...

So number 5 made me laugh out loud. Oh we could all tell stories. I actually love my OB. But when I was preggo with Cason, I was at my last visit before delivery, he was checking me to see if I was dilated at all. He also had an intern with him who was like the same age as Doogie Howser. After he checked me, he and the intern were leaving and the intern LEFT THE DOOR OPEN. I was naked from the waste down! I was like, "Uh, Hello!" Anyway, hang in there! I'm praying for you!

Nicole said...

Oh my goodness! I think I would ahve changed doctors after the first one:) I agree with Deedee. Pee on him:)

the.fortes said...

Our OB rocked, so if you want a young, chic chick who won't nag you about gaining 50 lbs (I did), then Karen Wilks is a good one. Your doctor sounds like someone I wouldn't like much!