Thursday, March 25, 2010

Get your wisdom teeth out when you are a teenager, people...

I'm just trying to save you some money...some time...some energy...some more money...and some sleep...

I have been telling Joshua for YEARS that he needs to get his last wisdom tooth out. His Dad, who is a dentist I might add, also has encouraged this. But, did he listen...nope. Why do you ask? Well, fear of a little thing called a "needle", the word "surgery," and a small amount of money. To be honest the money has been the only excuse I have really heard everytime we discussed this topic. Normally, a couple hundred dollars is not scoffed at nor considered "a small amount of money," but when your oral surgeon "highly suggests" you to get braces AGAIN it suddenly turns into a $3000-$5000 affair, the term small is so relative. How do I know this? I have only had my braces off for 2 years or so. I did not get them as a kid because I was too vain. I thought the braces would cramp my afro-mullet and super-cool rec specs style. So, there. I am not angel in the stubborn and ridiculous department. That is why we are perfect for each other.

I digress....

This is proposing to be long post so if you want to keep the yawns at bay, you can scroll to the bottom and read the all bold section.

Back on track now, Joshua had his one measley wisdom tooth removed today. In order to prepare for this event, here is what had to get done.

1. Arrange for awesome friend to wake up at the crack of dawn to keep kid's, feed kid's, dress kid's, & take them to school. Oh yeah AND drive my cool mini-van.

2. Drop off 3 prescriptions for post surgery.

3. Pack clothes for the next day along with lunches and usual Day School items.

4. Make homemade raspberry/blueberry breakfast muffins for the whole crew.

5. Did I mention Joshua worked until almost 11 last night?!

We dropped kid's off in pajamas at 7:20 am. Appointment time at 7:50. Joshua was done with surgery & recovery around 9ish. Surgeon was so nice. Had a great conversation about healthcare, school lunches, & exercise while Joshua drooled on his pillow. Got to see his wicked tooth with the root still attached. It was wrapped around the nerve like a hook, so Doc said Joshua may lose some feeling in his face.

No worries. He won't look weird when he smiles. He just won't be able to tell if he does either way!

Again, Doc reminds us of the fact that Joshua needs to have braces again. So long savings, I actually thought I was going to get to pay for someone else's health care again. I digress...

Get my loopy man home after I stop at Star Bucks for my energy boost. Mr. Loopy thinks he is feeling great and heads to go get a pillow and his favorite quilt. I tell him to stay on the couch while I go get them for him. I find him in the pain pills about to take the wrong stuff. He is relegated to the couch indefinitely unless he needs to pee. He reluntantly stayed. He watched tv while I made him tea, retrieved gatorade, changed his bloody gauze pads, monitored 20 minutes on/20 minutes off ice wrap, and doled out his meds. He was such a great patient that I was able to deep clean & reorganize the laundry room, refridgerator, and pantry, Mop & sweep all floors in the house, pick kid's up from school, go to Wal-mart for toilet paper and Easter items, visit Nana & Papaw so the kid's would not wear Joshua out, kid's helped fill Easter eggs with goodies, apply Uppercase living on my wall, re-arrange some furniture/decorations. And I was only able to get all of this done because my wonderful Aunt Zina made us dinner and brought it over. However, my almost wonderfully perfect cleaning spree came to a halt when Landice needed to go poop. Here is where I will skip down a bit and bold my words for those that want the good stuff...

Landice needed to go poop. I have been letting her sit a little longer on the potty so she will get it all taken care of. SHe has had a few problems in that area lately. Apparently, her little brother wanted to literally beat the poo out of her. I heard her screaming and him fussing. So, I went to investigate. I found them duking it out while she is in mid poop. They are both taking swings at each other and she almost topples off. I break things up by telling Hayden to get out of the bathroom and go on autopilot to wipe her bottom grabbing the toilet paper focusing on Hayden while folding the paper. I lean her forward and begin to wipe thinking she is done. Boy was I wrong. I screamed a girly Home Alone Scream that scared both kid's as I ran out of the bathroom to find the bleach to rot my hand off again.

Remember this.

So, no bleach. Hayden is screaming for me to hold him, Landice is still on the potty hollering/crying, Corban is playing with cars in the living room, Joshua keeps sitting up on the couch asking, "What is going on?" and saying, "I can help" as his eyes cross and he looks very nauseated. Whatever dude, lay back down. It becomes very clear that I need to call in some reinforcements.

The first reinforcement I called was the manger of Interurban. No kidding. My friend left her phone on accident at Interurban, but I only realized this after this conversation:

Me: I need help!
Friend's phone: What?
Me: I NEED help!
Friend's phone: I can't really hear you.
Me: Can one of you come over and help me? I will explain later?
Friend's phone: Well, this is the manager at Interurban. A patron just let it here.
Pure joy!
Me: Great! Well, I will call them and let them know.
Called friend's spouse to tell them and ask for help again.
It was a good thing I did because they would not have been able to get their phone before they left out of town all weekend.

Called reinforcement number two. By this point, you might be thinking "Surely you could have had everything under control by now! Come on, suck it up!"

Well, I had to take a break from holding Hayden with non-poopy hand while using the phone and trying to find a hand rotting agent. He screamed everytime. Landice was still screaming. Corban is still playing cars. Joshua needs his ice pack and keeps popping up like a Jack-n-the-box every five minutes asking, "WHat is going on?" and saying, "I can hold him. Bring him here." Whatever dude, lay down. That's all you need is one wallop to your jaw to make this day complete.

So, reinforcement number 2 comes over to hold Hayden and deliver ice pack while I use Extreme Clean on my hand and get wipes to clean up Landice's smeared bottom. Most of the excitement was over by that point, but it was so nice to have her help! I am not going to share with you the rest of our joyous evening, but I have to say Joshua was really sweet and said, "I hate be so worthless to you right now!" Whoever said that being a Mom is a "thankless" job was so wrong...HA!

With all that said...I would rather go through the messes we have and make, then to not have a mess to care about. So there, how's that for a random thoughts Thursday post!


Kayla said...

Is regular hot water and soap not good enough!!!? That's all I ever used!

Why did he only have one wisdom tooth left? He had three taken out but left one?

Wa Wa Waughs said...

Oh, what a story! Hang in there, girl! That is also a great illustration for parents telling their kids how much easier it is to get a college degree BEFORE becoming a parent!

Kelli said...

That is funny - but only because we have had very similar situations before!

I can one up Josh - I have all 4 of my wisdom teeth. But, my dentist just told me to have mine taken out like in the next year. I am dreading it!