May 10th - Ryan's Birthday

May 10th is a good day. It is a day that we go visit my brother, Ryan's grave site. We go as a family and clean up around the head stone and put in new flowers. This has been a healing event for all of us. We remember a great man, brother, son, would be uncle if he were alive today.

May 10th is a hard day, but not as hard as May 23rd. My brother died 13 days after his 20th birthday. He was killed by a drunk driver. My kid's never met my brother, nor did my brother get to see me get married. But, his memory is carried on. His example is passed down. His tragic death is helping others to hopefully choose to make better decisions.

My brothers and I were raised with the full knowledge of the damage alcohol can do to a family. We learned that we could choose to stay away or fall victim to the addiction that consumes so many lives. Joshua and I still choose to abstain from the use of alcohol as a way to set ourselves apart as an example to those we love. We talk very openly about how the actions of the young lady who killed my brother. Not in a judgmental way, but in a way that hopefully shows mercy and forgiveness. My kid's ask why Ryan is in Heaven and we tell them that "someone made a bad decision to drink and drive" and "that we need to pray that this young lady will make better decisions since she has a second chance, whereas my brother does not." My hope is that my kid's will not only see the how every choice they make doesn't just affect them. I also hope that they will choose God's way and not their own way.