My Sweet Corban

Upon finding out we were pregnant with you on November 2, 2004, little did I know that you would literally cause quite a transformation in me. Well, you know, beside the whole hips expanding, blood veins busting, and actually having cleavage for once in my life. The last one could have hung around a little longer, but I shall just chalk it up to knowing I am more aerodynamic, which helps me shave a little less time off of my 10 minute miles:)!

Anyway, I know that you are completely dubious to my rantings on here as you are now a five year old...wait, let me say it again, five year old. Okay, much better, the first time I thought I was dreaming. I digress...

Back to you again, ah yes...prior to your preciousness being placed in my arms, I was afraid that I wouldn't be a good Mommy because of some slight upbringing dynamics, but also because I couldn't keep a plant alive to save my life and my first 4 children(two cats & two dogs) didn't fair too well.

Silas, a yellow tabby that was an angel kitty if there is such a thing. Serrabe, a long haired insane black cat that would beat herself up, but that is a whole other story in itself. Duke Will Mullins, a black part lab/part mutt & Daisy Grace Mullins, a yellow part lab/part mutt that were a graduation gift from my parents given to me after my last college soccer match. Joshua was not pleased about this let me tell you. Again, another several stories right there too. Needless to say, we are a pet free family so we can make sure that you get all of our attention. You can also see that God does have an angel watching over you because you have made it to the wonderful age of 5.

During these 5 years you have taught me so much. After reading my updated resume, you will have to try really hard not to think ill of me and no, my college education did not prepare me for this!

I have had to learn how to grocery shop with a purpose and preplan meals if we are to survive an 1 hour visit to Crest. I may even have to tear open a few boxes of junk food to get through it and I may even have to join you as well.

I have had to learn how to accept that I will clean and clean and clean and clean and there will ALWAYS be more work to do. People say it's good to set boundaries, yet when I asked to only have to clean once a day the dust bunnies scoffed at me.

I have learned that I may buy you clothes that I want you to wear, but you will ultimately choose to wear a tie with a plaid on plaid ensemble and totally rock it out at church.

I have also learned that "pooping in the back yard is better" for you in your mind, but by far in any reality is it considered acceptable in my books.

I have learned that your gender confused grandma/grandpa will always be the epitome of EVERYTHING and I won't even try to compete with that.

I have learned that you have lots of questions and I don't have lots of answers. Which is extremely annoying, BTW.

I have learned that you are far too smart and definitely will make a good man if you continue learning the art of knowing when not to repeat what you just said. Things like, "Mom, why do you boss Daddy around so much?" I asked you to repeat yourself and you said, "Nothing, Mom. I said nothing!" Good boy!

I have learned that if I don't do something for you right away you will just do it yourself. I am totally okay with that just so you know. Except for when you decide to get your baby brother out of his crib and maiming him in the process.

I have learned that if I growl at you, then you growl back. Kind of like that echo microphone thingie. Who would have thought that you would pick up on EVERY little thing I do.

I have learned that you love to help water the lawn. You are quite resourceful and you make your Daddy proud by conserving some water, and IF you get embarrassed in the process when a friendly neighbor points out that you are dawning your maleness to all creation, your only sign is a dimpled grin and a finger pistol aimed our direction.

I have learned that you love people. Even the trucker who shows up at the snow cone stand waiting for a delivery. You show no reserve to give the grungy man a hug and tell him your name and that you hope he has a good day. My heart is torn by knowing if your innocence has made a grandpa's day while every hair on my body stands on end with fear that he is a bad guy.

I have learned that I am not in control. I have learned to lean on God because I can't do it all by myself. I have realized that you are a huge part of helping to smooth out my rough edges.

God gave me you. He gave me a purpose. My purpose is to raise you to be a Godly young man. HE will be YOUR refuge through life as he is mine. HE will carry you through everything. HE will show you that even though you were given a frustrated perfectionist for a mother, you will shine if you choose HIS way. Thank you, Sweet Corban for being a perfect 1st born blessing and helping me be a better person!