Friday, January 7, 2011

Love and Logic

Last night, Joshua had to work late so I was on my own for dinner and bedtime. I am very blessed in the fact that Joshua's job allows him to be home 99% of the time for these two events. I am very thankful that Joshua is super involved with helping with these two events as well. So, needless to say last night was interesting.

One kiddo decides that this is indeed a Love and Logic kind of day. The kiddo only trying to test the boundaries of not going out of the backyard without permission for the millionth time. Thankfully, while I was sick last week I reread (for the 4th time) Love and Logic and was prepared for battle. The kiddo was told to sit on their bed and think about why they are there.

Isolation + defiant, upset child = calm and cool momma downstairs finishing dinner.

I go upstairs to discuss the situation and the child decided to tell me that what I said was "ugly."

Isolation + defiant, even more upset child = calm and cool momma downstairs setting the table.

I go upstairs once again to discuss the situation and kiddo still wasn't quite getting the point that they were in trouble and it was no time to bring up other people's wrong doings. During this time, I told the sad, little person to try to think again and when they were done pitching a monstrous fit, then we would talk again. Before they trudged back to their bed, the little person leans into me, weeping and said, "I tried hard, Mom." Sob *** Sob *** Sob*** "It's just not working out for me!"

I gently stroked their back and said, "I'm real sorry about that. Maybe this time it will!"

Isolation + sorrowful, less upset child = calm and cool Momma downstairs to pull the chicken out of the oven.

A few minutes later, I headed back upstairs for discussion. This time I was greeted with a repentant attitude and a calmer spirited kiddo.

Our discussion was based on how disobeying Mommy when we know it is wrong is something that "big kids" try hard not to do. They try not to disobey because they know that God is not happy with those decisions. "Babies" have to learn how to make good decisions and that is why they can't do "big kid" things. Since you are the "big kid," you get to do the "big kid" things. But, what is going to happen when you keep making bad decisions and your siblings, even though they are younger than you, get to do the "big kid" things and you don't because you are making bad decisions?

Tears begin to well up in the little man's eyes. Ah ha! I struck a nerve and Protests of the injustice of revoking elder child rights set in temporarily.

Discussion ended with kiddo realizing that ONLY he is in charge of making good decisions and that blaming others or getting angry for being disciplined does not help his situation any.

Temporary Isolation + God giving me the right words = A peace in my heart and actually feeling like a good parent for once

Being Consistent and Firm is tough, but so worth it!

It's seems like when Daddy's working late inevitably someone has to spill their chocolate milk all over the creme table cloth and the floor. It seems that that same someone feels the need to poop their pants twice, which is not normal because they are indeed very much fully potty trained. One of the two times they come in the house with an extended hand revealing poop they have felt around for in their britches.

Meanwhile, another kiddo is refusing to eat dinner, but is more than happy to oblige me with 3 horribly full and disgusting monster poopy diapers between 4pm & 8 pm.

Since this day has been quite full of adventure, I decided it was perfectly suitable to let the kid's play in the bath tub for an hour before bedtime. While I was filling up the tub I gave the kid's some instructions.

"Go upstairs, take your clothes off and put them in your dirty clothes hamper. Grab some new pajamas and underwear. Come downstairs."

They very excitedly obliged. As they were coming downstairs I heard Corban singing a little song. I didn't say anything about it. I just snickered to myself and went on.

So, the kid's play, splash, laugh and enjoy their baths. I got each kid out individually and they all screamed, "It's, it's cold." I suggested that they get their jammies on fast so they could warm up. I hear Corban start to sing that same song again. This time it came with a little dance and it went a little something like this:

Corban: I'm Shakin' my PeePee. I'm Shakin' my PeePee.
Hayden, Do you want to shake your PeePee with me?

Hayden: (with his typical 2 year old oppositional growl) No! I don't a wanna shake a my Peeee Peeeee!

Corban: Why not?

Me: (Laughing) Where did you learn that from?

Corban: Oh, I just made it up...I didn't learn it from Daddy cause he doesn't like to shake his peepee.

Yes, I realize that Joshua is going to kill me...since he is already, you might think this conversation we had last night was hilarious too.

Setting: Joshua and I sitting on the couch catching up on our days events. He is folding a load of whites while I eat out of a container of chocolate ice cream. Now that's what I call a perfect ending to ANY day!

I've gotten to where I really like working in Excel. I like getting to see how difficult I can make something, but that is very simple to use. ***PAUSE*** It's awesome. ***PAUSE***It's something I enjoy. ***PAUSE***It's how I'm created.

Me: ***PAUSE*** Eh, it's how your created? (Yes, I was paying attention)

Joshua: No, it's how I'm CREATIVE. (He said it a little louder in cause I was hard of hearing)

Me: Oh, good...I was wondering because your context was a little...weird.

Joshua: (Laughs) Yes, it's how we're created...we are all just one big excel spreadsheet...awesome! (Laughs) Accounting and Philosophy! (Begins to realize that I am not communicating back to him) Wait, what are you doing? Are you going to talk to me?

Me: (smiles as I type this conversation word for word into my phone)

Joshua: Come on! I didn't sign up to become Facebook Fodder.

Me: Nope, but you sure did give me something to blog about!


Wa Wa Waughs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wa Wa Waughs said...

You thought you were all past that stuff, huh? Just some good practice for the days to come. Congratulations for not losing it!!!

Amy said...

That was a great post! I loved it! I have embarrassed my family more than once blogging about them. ha. I love your stories and love your parenting! Blessings!

the.fortes said...

Elizabeth....I have personally watched you parent your children and I think you do a great job! I have the Love and Logic book and I need to reread it, but it is a great book.